Building Self-Esteem

Coaches often have quality relationships with athletes, which is a major reason why so many coaches could have a significant impact on helping athletes build their self-esteem, particularly during the impressionable childhood development years. Low self-esteem is at the core of many mental health challenges, which are often misdiagnosed as mental disorders.

Self-esteem can be a difficult concept to understand. There are links to resources at the bottom of this page that might be helpful for coaches who are trying to help athletes build their self-esteem.

Dr. Harold Minden, a former clinical psychologist and professor at York University in Toronto and sports psychologist to several Canadian Olympic teams, explained the relationships between self-image, self-concept and self-esteem in his 1982 book Two Hugs for Survival: Strategies for Effective Parenting, and compared young people with high-self esteem to those with low self-esteem.

According to Dr. Minden, self-esteem is the feeling of self-worth that can be observed in patterns of behaviour. Self-esteem is an emotion and is different from self-image and self-concept.

Self-concept is the thought of self-worth. Because self-concept is a cognition or idea, it can be measured through paper and pencil tests. Self-image is general and encompasses both self-concept and self-esteem.

Although the terms self-concept and self-esteem are unique, they are often used interchangeably. An individual could have high self-concept, but low self-esteem. For example, a person may report on a self-concept test that she or he is feeling good, but for some reason the person might not actually feel, at an emotional level, good about his or her self-worth. Thoughts do not necessarily represent emotions. It is the subconscious feelings of self-worth that are most directly connected to patterns of behaviour. A person with high self-esteem, for example, is likely to behave in a positive way, and may appear to be:

Confident
Secure
Assertive
Creative
High Achievers
Problem-solvers
Action oriented
Independent
Interdependent
Respectful
Trustful
Active participants

A person with low self-esteem is more likely than someone with high self-esteem to behave in a socially unacceptable way, and may appear to be:

Depressed
Withdrawn
Introverted
Dependent
Anxious
Distracted
Insecure
Disrespectful
Distrustful
Envious
Self-conscious
Aggressive

Individuals with low self-esteem often exhibit feelings of depression, anxiety, feeling blamed, and introversion. These feelings are often linked to feelings of alienation and social rejection, which leads to anger and a greater tendency toward deviant behaviour. Individuals with low self-esteem are less independent than those with high self-esteem and are easily influenced by peers and have difficulty making and maintaining friendships.

People with low self-esteem also have frequent feelings of insecurity and embarrassment and rarely attempt anything new. They are passive participants with little, if any, initiative. They are low achievers, and passive rather than assertive. They lack ambition and are not creative. As a result, they are often withdrawn and bored.

Individuals with low self-esteem are not likely to trust themselves, and often do not believe they have control over their lives and futures, and do not accept opinions and judgments. They tend to be poor problem-solvers, poor decision-makers and are more likely than those with high self-esteem to become addicted to alcohol, illicit drugs and prescription drugs.

Dr. Minden considered the lowering and building of self-esteem to be a circular process. People with low self-esteem are likely to have perceptions of incompetence, which results in a lack of self-confidence, low motivation, perceptions of failure and negative feedback, which further lowers self-esteem.

Alternatively, individuals with high self-esteem tend to have perceptions of competence, which leads to self-confidence and a high level of motivation, success and positive feedback, further increasing feelings of self-worth.

There are many ways coaches can help athletes build their self-esteem. Dr. Minden identified six areas on which individuals generally base their feelings of the whole self. Although all the areas are distinct, they are interconnected and can be developed through sport.

Physical self

The physical self is made up of our evaluation of our physical skills, fitness, state of health, and physical appearance.

The physical self is very important to young athletes, for example. When young athletes say “watch me” at a practice, they are often trying to show their coach a sport skill that they are starting to feel competent performing. Coaches who structure practices with young athletes that focus on physical skill development can help them feel good about their physical self.

Social self

The social self is made up of how we function in relationships with other people, and in various social situations.

Sport provides opportunities for athletes to establish relationships with a variety of people including coaches, who have a strong influence on the mental development of athletes, good or bad. Through sport, coaches can help athletes learn how to cooperate with peers and compete fairly against them.

Family self

The family self is made up of our evaluation of how we get along with other family members and how we fit into our family. Our feelings are often based on our perceived status in the family and our sense of adequacy as a family member.

Many parents invest a great deal of time and money into providing their children with opportunities to participate in sport. Family dinner discussions are often focused on sport, and many parents are involved in community sport organizations. Sport can be a vehicle for making athletes feel good about their status in the family and sense of adequacy as a family member. The connectedness in sport can also make athletes feel like the team is like a family.

Personal self

The personal self is made up of our evaluation of our personality traits and characteristics.

Sport can help shape personality and build character, which is why many parents register their children in sports programs. Coaches can structure practices, for example, to help athletes develop expressiveness and assertiveness, and to strengthen communication skills. Sport provides opportunities for athletes to develop dependence and interdependence.

School or work self

The school or work self is made up of our evaluation of our functioning and achievements in academic or vocational settings.

Sport can help athletes develop an appreciate for learning. There are rules and strategies that athletes need to understand, and, in some sports, athletes must remember specific plays. Coaches can help athletes learn about the importance of working hard and working together to achieve success. Through sport, athletes can become more self-disciplined, develop effective time management skills, and become intrinsically motivated to achieve. Coaches can help athletes prepare for challenges in school and work.

Moral-ethical self

The moral-ethical self is made up of our evaluation of our moral and ethical values and behaviour.

Coaches can help athletes understand the consequences of breaking rules, which can provide a framework for developing ethical standards that could direct behaviour in later life. Sport is an effective forum for athletes to develop values, and for them to understand right from wrong, and learn how to compete fairly.

Here are some resources that might be helpful for coaches who are trying to help athletes build their self-esteem: